What's Self love got to do with it
You may have heard about self-love but what does it really mean to have it and how does the lack of it in your life show up.
Lack of self-love might not initially be evident to you, but you might see it showing up as …
💙 A feeling of shame about yourself or being ashamed of things that you have or haven't done.
💙 Ignoring your own achievements, downplaying them, and not accepting compliments.
💙 People pleasing and letting others walk over you so you can be liked.
💙 A fear of failure that stops you doing the things that you would really like to do.
💙 There are also some things that we think self-love is …like being accepted by others and doing ‘the right thing’ (even though you may not want to).
💙You may also think it might be buying yourself things or taking yourself out for coffee, getting yourself a facial or going on holiday …
And those things are important, but self-love goes far deeper than that.
For me Self-love is having complete love and a deep compassion for yourself as you would your own child or someone close to you.
It is allowing yourself to be you in your truest form and this comes from inside of you.
It doesn't come from outside of you or from external validation, and no one else can give it to you.
It doesn't come from external things like your work, personal sacrifice, being busy or your identity in this world.
Is it little wonder why we get to this age, our self-love tank running on empty and it’s obvious why …?
Till now we’ve been looking after everyone else and feeling like everything is our responsibility. But now it has become intolerable.
So, why has this happened?
Well, it usually began when we were young, we were rewarded for putting other first and god forbid if we were selfish.
And as time went on you may have had children, and you did it even more.
You may have become the self-sacrificing mother a behaviour that we probably learned from our own mother.
Another thing is having weak boundaries (more about this at another time).
Finally, I want to ask you this question, what is it costing you by not putting yourself first and loving yourself from the inside?
Let me know.
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A professional coach and guide to midlife women, helping them to create lives they love full of purpose and meaning.