I'm sure it's what many of you are asking …
How do I balance what I need to do with what I want to do?
How do I manage to look after my own needs and manage my commitments to my children or aging parents or both, without feeling guilty?
Also, we need to add managing your energy levels – you may be used to doing it all but now you feel less desire to do it all and your energy levels won’t allow it!
Here are some areas to look at when you are feeling like you could use some balance in your life.
Boundaries are one of the most powerful things that you can put into your life. But they're also the trickiest because mostly we are used to being all things to all people, never drawing a line in the sand and saying no to anyone.
An example might be working longer hours at work because we've always done it and the work won’t get done unless you do it. It could be three extra hours per week or is it more?
You can decide to bring a boundary into that situation, by always going home on time or not taking work home with you or not being available after hours.
And in the beginning, it will feel different, it may even be difficult, but in the end, it's empowering – not to mention the extra hours you are bringing back for you to use for you!
2 . Acceptance.
By this, I mean accepting that in this part of our lives (midlife). We are experiencing some big changes, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
We aren't the same as when we're in our 20s or 30s or even early 40s.
Things have changed, our energy capacity is different and so our priorities – we are starting to want different things.
If you pause and have a look back and compare what was working for you five years ago to what are working for you now, some reassessment will be needed.
Like working long hours, the type and amount of exercise that you do, stress management and the amount of alcohol you drink are all places to start.
It is a fact that prolonged stress is not good for you and it is time to remove those stressful situations from your life (if possible).
Once you may have thrived on stress or could handle it better. But in this time of our life, it is harmful to our bodies and it uses up energy that we need for other more fun things.
Do you need that friend that stresses you out? Do you need to work that extra hour at work? Do you need to take on that extra project just because you always take on more? Can you bring some R & R to your life?
4. Choose happy
What makes you happy?
Choose more of those things that do make you happy and let go of the things that don’t.
Create a list and start letting go.
Areas to look at are your work, relationships, health choices and social media accounts
Ask yourself … does this make me feel happy?
And then choose.
All it just takes some is some self-inquiry and making a conscious decision to keep or let go.
5. Clean up your thinking
How do you speak to yourself?
Do you encourage yourself and reaffirm that you've done a good job, or do you always to berate yourself for not doing enough or that you aren’t good enough?
Do guilt and shame have too much to say?
They will NEVER say anything nice to you.
Start consciously choosing your thoughts and bring some self-love into the equation because you are so worth it!
Choose one to reflect on this week and let us know below which one would make the most difference to you!
“The top 3 mistakes I see frustrated midlife women making and what happens when they make them”
1. Believing that this (whatever situation you are in) is all there is and that you are stuck!
At any given moment there is an infinite number of possibilities available and it only takes a slight shift in thought, direction, commitment, or action to make to move forward in a different direction of your choosing.
2. Your past choices determine your future.
Got divorced, invested poorly, told your boss to stick it & got fired, didn't finish uni …
This doesn’t mean that you’ll always have bad relationships, can’t handle money or that you are unemployable.
The past is been and gone and it is only when we keep it alive by thinking about it - that it becomes a part of our future!
3. Putting yourself last and not honouring what you want – your desires, needs, health, happiness.
You sacrifice everything to make everyone else happy and you end up tired, burnt out and resentful because it is impossible to keep everyone else happy and you can’t pour from an empty cup.
No wonder you are frustrated, and life can feel like such a struggle. Particularly when you really want so much more than what you are getting!
Fortunately, things can be turned around pretty quickly when you get a fresh new perspective on the power you have to make a difference to your life and I can help you with that.