I kind of slipped into midlife unaware of the physical and emotional changes that were starting to take place for me.
I was knee deep in the aftermath of a divorce and working out who I was …
A single woman with two teenagers and it felt like my body was failing me, my capacity to deal with my emotions, my confidence dived and I was an uninspired mess.
Of course I’d heard about perimenopause/menopause and I knew that some women had a hard time of it …hot flushes and midlife crises etc. I was also vaguely aware of a ‘shift’ that occurs at midlife and that things change …
I liken it to hearing the advice about the first 6 months of having a baby. You do not get it and understand any of it until you have that baby in your arms.
It came as a complete surprise to me that when I was complaining about feeling awful, that a friend (who was older than me). She said do you think it could be menopause darling???
OMG it hit me and when I followed up with some basic research …
Yes! That is what was happening to me …
And then I was suddenly able to recall friends and colleagues sharing about their experiences and then the penny dropped …
My life was changing …
I didn’t feel ready and I resisted it for a while.
Well, that didn’t work, it just made it worse …
I felt aimless, unhappy and physically fragile … like my body was failing me, I didn’t have much time left and I didn’t even have a partner … a bit of a loser!
Then I had to give myself a good talking to ...
And decided to reclaim my life for me …
To get excited again …
To start to dream about what I want in my future …
To make a plan (you know fail to plan … plan to fail) and it worked …
I wanted to share with you 5 ways I got my midlife mojo back:
1. Exercising regularly.
I've never been a great at exercising and though I always feel good when I do it, I was slack! No matter what you choose, just do it and you’ll notice the difference. My choice is is walking in nature and yoga, exercising has transformed my energy levels and has helped decrease my stress and has lifted my mood.
Do whatever suits you, but doing it is the key
Tight muscles, weird restless legs at night, tight joints all these things have been helped by magnesium … I take it, spray it on my skin and also have my favourite Epsom salts baths – sometimes I even have them daily, in my house it’s not a special occasion thing.
3. Reduce your Alcohol.
Be mindful of how much you are drinking and why you are drinking. I gave up drinking alcohol completely (this is whole other blog post) and it has been fabulous for me and my health.
4. Look at your Mindset
I spent some time in deep reflection by myself and with my coach and close friends about my mindset and if it was going to serve me in midlife. And it wasn’t … the way I was thinking had become, frankly quite negative and sad over the last few years. So I spruced it up with some inner work and refocused on what was important to me and how I wanted to think and feel.
This is so important! And has been a total game changer for me. By sharing what’s happening for me and my feelings I have been able to create deeper more authentic relationships with my family and friends. It means I don’t have to suffer in silence anymore.
Opening up to others helps untangle my thoughts and brings them out into the light where they are far less scary.
If you don’t feel that you can share with people you know go to a practitioner or join a group of likeminded people.
Phew I so glad I did or I’d be crazy by now!
Everyone's experience is different, and your list may be completely different to mine!
I know that if you are feeling unhappy or things feel stuck or just not working for you …it’s time to do something about it!
Because it’s your time now.
Big love Kathx
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A professional coach and guide to midlife women, helping them to create lives they love full of purpose and meaning.